As an only child, my childhood was a lonely one. The clichéd, spoilt, selfish or special, only child did not apply to me. Siblings were in the form of dogs that lived out their short twelve-year life-span inflicting my soul with a tremendous amount of loss and pain.
I was four when my dad died, thus beginning a chain of family passings that introduced me to my lifelong companion, Death!
At the age of seven I began to question religion, God, the Devil and my old mate the Grim Reaper. Memories of intimidation and brainwashing from the Sunday school teacher still incite me with rebellion and rage.
Flashbacks of the sci-fi series Logan’s Run, based on an elimination process before the ripe ‘old age’ of thirty are profoundly disturbing as one gets older.
As a younger person then, I remember thinking time was on my side. But the truth is time waits for no one. Age is a life sentence and an adrenalin rush. As children we constantly moan that we want to be older, well, it comes!
Rather like sitting on a massive rollercoaster in awe and anticipation, climbing, ascending slowly up the track until you reach the summit, around about 40 years of age. You look across that great height the world is at your feet, and then down it descends accelerating with force, faster and faster, - yes it flies!
I’m not a negative or depressive person but everyone has their off-days. I am a realist that tries to live every day to my best ability, as age is a certainty, you have to run the gauntlet of life and its obstacles of illness, disease, accidents, mental health and then death.
So to me our unique paths are a game of life. Again this is one of my future projects based on extensive research covering all directions onto the journey of death throughout history, the deceased, funerals, grief, afterlife and our own mortality. I focus on executions and the plagues that nearly wiped out Europe. But mostly I concentrate on how we can change our own lives by becoming the scriptwriters and starring in our own film, using the energy of the universe to entice happiness, and fulfilment, by creating our desires in and throughout many various forms.
For many, day to day life is an arduous task of survival, from extracting basic drinking water to existing on landfills, harvesting rubbish enabling them to eat. Opportunities for these individuals are non-existent.
But for those of us who are fortunate to have choice, we can change our lives, by materialising dreams into reality and hopefully for some of us passing a little wealth onto others whose dreams are restricted.
The Long Lie-InAwake you now my loveAnd raise your pretty head,For hear you not the bellCalling us from sleep?It summons us to ChurchThe Sabbath day to keep.Alas she sleeps too wellUntroubled by the bell,And she shall rise not moreTo kiss me as before.She’s not alone in bed –My love and Death are wed.The Devil take the bellAnd Church can go to Hell..............